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Over my years of mothering and homeschooling four kids, I gradually learned to deschool.
FYI that term, deschool, wasn’t even a WORD when I began homeschooling, so I would have described the experience with a different language.
If you’ve heard me share my story before, you might have heard me say that I was done homeschooling in a way that was self-torturing (requiring my kids to sit still, be quiet, and open their baby brain beaks widely so mama force-feeds them an education).
This is my story of deschooling.
Not to be dramatic or anything, but I really did feel like my version of school-at-home was just force-feeding my baby birdies.
A little bit more about my story of deschooling…
If someone could have walked alongside me, challenged my notions of what an education was anyway, and helped me get clear on whether my approach was actually working for me and my kids, I would have enjoyed my homeschool a whole lot more.
I also would not have felt like I was pushing a boulder uphill (aka four kids), and I would have been at ease and peace as we followed our path and as I trusted myself and my kids more.
I’m a self-described “classical unschooler”. Even though you might wonder if I were a full-on unschooler. I wasn’t.
My story of deschooling: I had a plan.
That plan was built on the back of Susan Wise-Bauer’s Well-Trained Mind.
I loved my plan. It worked like clockwork. Until, or unless there was a child in the room.
Because ya know…they didn’t have the fortitude I had to get through the plan. There was bickering and they just wanted to play or do other things than to follow my plan.
It was a plan that a newly minted teacher would salivate over.
There were seasons in my homeschool that didn’t reflect that classically unschooled approach.
Those seasons arrived when I became aware of the child right in front of me.
Case example, number one. My oldest.
She was the reason John Holt, his teachings, and a self-directed education made a whole lot of sense. She didn’t care for my plans.
Or at least she liked to make her plans, thank you very much.
So I radically unschooled my firstborn daughter for six months.
Case example, number two.
I quickly discovered that my well-crafted plans were also my second daughter’s default setting.
She wanted a plan. And a daytimer. And colored markers and something to do that she was required to have completed before the end of the week.
Case example, number three.
She didn’t care how we did it. Or what we did. She just wanted someone to do it with.
She naturally understood everything. Nothing was hard for her. She was charming and animated (and still is), and just wanted to have fun!
Case example, number four.
He was happy to follow along. At times, I was concerned that as the youngest, he wasn’t getting a focused intentional education.
My story of deschooling taught me that he may have had the most robust home education.
He also was the most naturally academic. So leaning toward a self-directed education wasn’t challenging.
What was challenging was ME having to learn openings for chess games.
Releasing him from my scripted plan so he could study chess openings instead of completing my daytimer plans was my challenge.
Now, I did figure all this out, but I figured it out the hard way.
It took a whole lot of boulder-pushing, frustration, and hitting the wall of my own unrealistic realistic expectations with my kids when I told them to “sit still, be quiet and open their baby brain beaks.”
(Not a direct quote, but you get the idea…)
When I did learn to let go (after I read John Taylor-Gatto, thanks John!) and with a whole lot of trial and error AND a whole lot of contemplation about what unhelpful mindsets I might not want to be thinking anymore, I discovered that I had a homeschool lifestyle accompanied by a whole lot more freedom, purpose and individualization.
Ready to make homeschooling feel lighter, more joyful, and actually work for your unique family?
Join me for the upcoming Deschool Your Homeschool Workshop—a cozy, no-pressure space to rethink what learning at home can look like.
My story of deschooling brought us a whole lot more freedom and purpose.
I’ve been writing about how to deschool your homeschool if you want to make your journey easier, more purposeful, and freer too.
- How to Use the Practical Deschool your Homeschool Checklist
- What do homeschoolers want to deschool from: let’s get specific
- How to practically deschool your homeschool mindset
- How to deschool 101
- Why Deschooling? To Feel Confident, Certain & Good Enough
If you recognize signs you need to deschool, consider one-on-one coaching with Teresa.
Through one-on-one coaching, we can work together to dig deeper into your specific challenges, create a customized plan, and address the unique struggles you’re facing in your homeschooling life. Whether you’re dealing with overwhelm, frustration, or simply seeking more clarity, I’ll support you every step of the way as you build a homeschool environment that works for your family.
Ready to take the next step? Let’s explore how one-on-one coaching can help you gain confidence and peace of mind in your homeschool journey. Deschooling is about letting go of the old to make room for something new and better.
You can use the Deschool your Homeschool Checklist for more freedom, individualization, and purpose in your homeschool too.
Begin to Shift your Homeschool Story with the ‘Deschool Your Homeschool’ Journaling Workbook
Ready to explore the signs you need to deschool and make space for a new, more fulfilling homeschool experience? Start with my journaling workbook to guide you through the process.
Deschool your Homeschool Journaling Workbook
The Deschool Your Homeschool Journaling Workbook is a self-coaching tool designed to help you redefine your homeschooling journey with clarity and confidence. Through thoughtful prompts and guided exercises, this workbook empowers you to:
- Reflect on your homeschooling experiences.
- Unpack preconceived notions about education.
- Identify barriers and aspirations.
- Create a personalized homeschool plan tailored to your family’s unique needs.
Discover how to shift your mindset, reconnect with your children, and design a homeschool life that aligns with your values. Start building a meaningful, purposeful homeschool today!
People also ask:
- Is there a Helpful Connection between Self-Care & Deschooling?
- Why do you want to deschool? Clarify before you begin.
- Why Do You Want to Deschool? Understanding Why it Matters
- Deschooling and Life Purpose: Is there a connection?
- Deschool your Homeschool Course
- Breaking Free: How Deschooling Helps You Live a Purposeful Life
- Is deschooling a fad or is it here to stay?
- How to Know if Deschooling is Right for You: 7 Signs you Need to Deschool
- Get free Deschool Coaching for More Freedom & Individualization
- Join the Deschool your Homeschool Challenge
Teresa Wiedrick
I help homeschool mamas shed what’s not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life.
